Happy Halloween Xiaolin Losers!
by Timelessdemon
Summary: Jack's many ways of spending Halloween...
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings:** Many bad spelling and grammar mistakes.

* * *

Jack glanced boredly around his 'lair', he had nothing to do... all his Jackbots were going to be imobile and unresponsive for the next 10 hours (they were plugged into his various computers and being updated). Jack huffed in annoyance and glared at the Jackbot cloest to him "Great! All alone on Halloween... Lame!".

His eyes wondered from the Jackbot to CB, who lay motionlessly against a old metal cupboard in the far corner of the room. Jack was tempted to activate CB (maybe they could go play basketball or something), but decided against it, he didn't want to chance getting thrown and locked out of his own home again by CB, (_This actually happened in one of the Xialion showdown episodes... but I forget which, lol_).

He glanced upstairs, he toyed with the idea of going trick or treating but he had no one to go with, (Wuya had run off with Chase yet again, and no one else was at home), plus, he probably was a little bit old to go trick or treating without feeling completely idiotic.

He 'could' get some popcorn and watch horror movies, he started up the stairs and then stopped abruptly. "Nah, too boring! There's probably nothing good on anyway... Who the hell am I talking to?" Frustrated, he walked back into the centre of the room, glancing around again until his eyes settled onto an old white sheet. A smirk formed on his lips "I may be too old for trick or treating, but maybe I can scare some candy outta those Xiaolin monks" He glanced around, remembering he was only talking to himself "I've gotta stop doing that!".

* * *

The Xiaolin monks were dressed up in their halloween costumes (Omi dressed a toilet paper mummy, Raimundo as a zombie, Kimiko as a moth eaten fairy and Clay as a red indian instead of a cowboy), they each held a bag full of candy as they walked up to a stone floored part just outside of the main Xiaolin temple. "Man! That was a blast!" Raimundo laughed as he sat down around a small pre-made fire.

"You can sure say that again, partner!" Replied Clay as he walked over, carrying some more wood for the fire. "Yeah" Kimiko grinned, sitting down next to Raimundo "Though I'm suprised Master Fung let us take Dojo, so we could trick or treat all over the world". Clay sat down on the other side of Raimundo, "He probably jus did that to get us out outta his hair for a while-".

"Hair? Omi (who was sitting next to Kimiko) chipped in, "But Master Fung has none, how can a Xiaolin Monk not notice such thing, Clay I'm sure Master Fung would be most dissapointed if he knew that-".

"Omi!" Raimundo interrupted, massaging his temples annoyedly "I'm not sure that's what Clay meant". "Oh..." Said Omi before smirking and replying "Then Clay most needs to learn better his grammar he-". Kimiko worriedly glanced around, seeing the annoyed/angered expressions on both Rai and Clay's faces, she decided to break the fight up before it had a chance to begin, "H-hey Omi? How about we tell some ghost stories around the fire, to pass the time?".

"Oh a most excellent idea Kimiko" Omi answered as he looked from his near argument with Clay, to Kimiko,"And I have a most wonderous story, it begins when a young boy, no, man, or girl... or maybe it was a dog, anyway, he...

Kimiko glanced around at Clay and Rai, recieving identical, annoyed glares. Kimko just wordlessly shrugged at them, and looked back at the still babbling Omi. Thanks to her, it was going to be a _very_ long night.

* * *

Jack hid behind a wall, watching the bored looking (all except for Omi) Xiaolin monks. Jack smirked to himself as he took the white sheet (with cut out eyes holes) from his back pack, the plan was simple enough, dress as a ghost, quickly (using his helipack) fly past/scare the Xiaolin monks and snatch a bag of candy before they had a chance to react, (just a bit of harmless fun) what could possibly go wrong?

* * *

"AND THEN" Omi yelled in excitement as he paced back and forth past the fire, not seeming to notice that the other 3 monks were all nearly asleep. "There was a most hideous tapping on the window, the girl turned to see a most humungous ghost which shouted-". "WOOO!".

"Huh?" Omi said confusedly, stopping in mid-stride, "I did not say that-". "WOOOOOOOOOOOO! WWWOOOOOOOOO!". Omi glanced around "Where is that?... ARGH!". The other monks woke up with a start at the sound of their comrade's screams, and turned to see what he was staring at. The white clad Jack swooped closer towards them "WOOO! WOOO!". "AGHHH! Ghost!" Yelled Omi running to hide. "Hold on Omi..." Said Kimiko as she stood up "I don't think it's a...".

"ARGH! Ow OW OWW! Get it off! GET IT OFF!" The _ghost_ began to yell, swaying violently from side to side. "Huh?" Said Omi "Why would a ghost say 'ow' it can not even feel pain". The four monks all stood to watch the said ghost coninue to yell in pain, before stopping abruptly in mid-air, hurdling towards and eventually hitting the ground, giving a quiet "Ow!" as it did so.

* * *

**Jack's P.O.V:**

"Heh, yeah! alright!" Jack quietly laughed to himself, as he neared the four, now standing monks, "Everything's going to plan! Now I just need to...". _'RIP!' _"What the...ARGH!" The white fabric had gotten caught on the moving propellers of Jack's helipack, ripping and pulling back the fabric as it did so. Unfortunately, the fabric was also caught around Jack googles, and wrenched his head (which Jack was very 'attached' to (both theoretically and physically) back to a very painful postion, causing him to yell in both pain and suprise, as he lost control of his helipack and landed in a mangled heap, at the feet of the 4 very confused Xiaolin monks.

* * *

**Normal P.O.V:**

Jack peeked out at them from under his ragged fabric and smiled uncomfortably "H-hi?". "Well look who decided to join the party!" Said Clay, glowering down at Jack. "Figures!" said Rai, folding his arms "Wherever fun is to be had... Jack is right there to ruin it!". "Hey hey!" Snapped Jack standing up to dust himself off, "Enough with the personal attacks! I-". "Just why did you come here Spicer?" Kimiko interrupted, eyeing him suspiciously. "I dunno..." answered Jack (he figured he'd look even more idiotic, if he told them he'd gone the whole way from his home, to the Xiaolin temple just to steal some candy, and failed no less), "I was just bored I guess... can I celebrate with you guys?".

"WHAT?" The 4 monks yelled in usion "Please!" Pleaded Jack, "I-I'm... bored!". "Well..." Kimiko began and recieved the puppy-eyes look from Jack, she sighed "Oh alright!". "YES!" Jack laughed excitedly, ignoring the looks of hatred the monks gave him, and sat down.

* * *

**At 1:00AM:**

Eventually the flames in the fire had pretty much all but gone out. Everyone had eventually got to tell their ghost story, Jack getting to tell his last. Jack was sat between Clay and Omi, still animately telling his story, not noticing the fact that all 4 monks were now fast asleep and so, not hearing a word of his story.

"...The end" Jack said, finshing his story "... or is it? Muwuha ha ha!... Huh? Hey no fair I stayed away for all your stories!". Jack pouted and crossed his arms in annoyance, before smirking as a thought came into his head. He took out his black eyeliner pencil and snook over to each monk, drawing the same black lines under their eyes, that he had under his eyes, (he _had_ thought vaguely about attempting to steal some Wu, but he was just too tired to get his butt kicked). Jack stood back and smirked at his handiwork, before snatching a handful of candy out of one of the bags, activating his helipack and giving them a two fingered salute. "You've just been Jacked! ...Happy Halloween Xiaolin losers!" Jack muttered, still quietly smirking, and flew off back home.

* * *

**Plz read and review, I didn't have time to spell check or re-read this, (technically I didn't even have time to write this but.. oh well, lol). Happy halloween everyone!**


	2. Monkey Staff

**Dear readers, if you've come in search of a very late halloween fic with unchecked speellling and gra!m?mar mistakes, then you've come to the right place! Lol... enjoy!**

* * *

Jack smirked at himself in the mirror, Long black cloak, scythe in hand, skull face paint... he was ready! Flipping up his dark black hoodie, he walked to the door. "Trick or treat here I come!", Jack muttered excitedly to himself. He went to walk out the door, but felt a hand on his shoulder.

He spun around to see his dad looking disapprovingly at him. "Where are you going?", his dad asked. Jack gave a nervous laugh but didn't answer the question. His dad sighed and continued, "You know you're grounded, and yet you continue to defy me and your mother... You should be greatful, if it weren't for me and her, the police could have pressed charges for you almost scaring the oldest resident around here half to death!".

"But dad...", Jack muttered pitifully. "No buts", his father snapped, "And no more of your tall stories about xiaolin showdowns and monkey staffs, that old lady nearly had a heart attack when she found you chatterng like an ape and swinging from the top branches of her prized Oak tree. "You're grounded... and too old to go trick or treating anyway, so stop acting like a spoilt child and grow up".

* * *

"Great(!)", Jack muttered, as he slowly decended the stairs to his basement-lair-room, "Too old to go trick or treating, but still young enough to get grounded, it's not like it was even my fault I mean"-.

Jack heard Wuya's muttering from his lair... what was she doing there? last he heard, she'd sided with Chase... again! "Wuya!", Jack called out as he jumped the last of his stairs and glanced around his lair, his eyes finally resting on the purple ghost, moving frantically around his room as if searching for something.

"Wuya what are you doing?", Jack asked, staring confusedly at Wuya who had her 'back' to him.

Wuya seemed to do an odd kind of suprised jump before laughing sheepishly, "Oh! Jack! I didn't hear you come in...", Wuya laughed again, "...I thought you were going... er, trick or treating or... something...".

"No...", Jack sighed (too apathetic to bother asking why she was there), jumping on to his battered red sofa which doubled as bed and lying back on it, "I got grounded...".

There was a short silence between the two as the words sunk in and Wuya slowly began to snigger, "Oh, has my dear Jack 'Evil boy genius' been causing mayhem and misery without me"?

Jack chuckled, slipping his folded arms behind his head, "Say what you want you old hag, I don't need your help to cause mischief. I am Jack Spicer! Prince of darkness! Master of all things evil! And I'm"-

-"Grounded!" Wuya sacastically interrupted.

Jack groaned, annoyed that he was going to really miss out on halloween, he turned his back to her, "Leave me alone", he sulked. "Aww! Is my litte Jack sad about halloween... Jack?".

A few more minutes passed, and Wuya realised that Jack wasn't going to ask her why she was there, she huffed and flew closer till she was right next to his ear.

"JACK!".

Jack screamed and jumped, up, "What?". "Foolish boy! Don't you even want to know why I'm here?".

Jack didn't answer, so Wuya continued, "Chase sent me here to see if you still have that monkey staff- he wants it you know".

"Well too bad, so do I", Jack muttered, turning back to face the sofa.

Wuya growled in frustration before flying through Jack's head causing him to shiver and look at her.

"Listen you! I want that staff now!" Jack's face went blank for a moment before his face broke into a smirk, "So lemme get this right, you want the monkey staff and I want to enjoy halloween, so how about a wager... if I can't scare you before midnight, then you get the monkey staff".

Wuya began to chuckle with glee- but Jack stopped her in her tracks, "But.. if I win, you have to go back to Chase and tell him you were too 'scared' to find it".

Wuya chuckled you have a deal- "ROAR!", Jack yelled suddenly, Wuya sighed, "If 'that's' your worst then Chase'll have the staff sooner than he thinks".

* * *

2 hours and several hundered useless scare attempts later, Jack was out of ideas, it was close to midnight and it truly seemed that Chase would end up with the monkey staff.

Pretty much giving up, Jack began to start putting one of his mangled bots back together. Prentending to ignore as Wuya floated closer towards him, "Giving up already, stupid boy?". Jack huffed, continuing to work on his bot, "You know what Wuya? I don't care if you take the last Wu I have... and you know why I don't care? Because I- ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!", Jack began to shriek and convulse erratically. The wires that Jack had been using, had touched and now he was being severly electricuted.

Wuya panicked at seeing the stupid boy she known for years get electricuted to death- and there was absolutely nothng she could do about it!

"Jack!", she screamed pitifully, floating closer to him, "What do I do?". Jack continued covulsing and fell to the floor in shrieking spasms. "Jack!", Wuya cried helplessly.

All of the sudden Jack stopped, his whole body went still and his head lolled to the side.

"No!", Wuya yelled, looking over his still body, "You stupid boy! You stupid, stupid"- "ROAR!". Wuya screamed moving back in the air slightly before realising what had just happened and growling over Jack's hysterical laughter.

"What the hell is wrong with you?", Wuya snapped at him, "You stupid, stupid boy! ...I thought you were dead!".

Jack continued snicker before asking sarcastically "What? ...Did I scare you?". Wuya screamed in frustration. Jack laughed again "You 'were' really worried about me weren't you?". "No!" Wuya growled out, although she didn't sound too sure.

Avoiding further embarrassment she quickly floated past him and through the wall, muttering something about teenagers as she did so.

* * *

**Message to reviewers of SCHIZOPHRENIA: Yes I am still alive, lol...soz about the extreme space of no chapters... Been suffering from a huge state of apathy. But hopefully that's over now... expect the next chapter of SCHIZOPHRENIA to be up by or before this time next week. Thanks to everyone who has continued to review that story- seriously, it's put me off giving up on it! ...So here's hoping... Lol.**

**As always... plz read and review!**


End file.
